another moral hangover. fuck.
I just threw up on my dentist
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Randomize
