we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
