awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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