you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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