Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
