I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
