Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
