If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
