We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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