like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
