he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My pussy is not your playground.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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