I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Randomize
