He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Pants are for mortals
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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