Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
she looked like the before picture.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
