when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
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