Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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