I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
and i looked up. we had an audience...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
