Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
