She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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