Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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