I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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