Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
