Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
FUCK WHALES
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
