The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
