Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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