I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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