Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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