And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
We have so much sex to catch up on
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
