Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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