sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
