Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
