ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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