I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
she pinky promised me she was 18
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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