the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
