Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Randomize
