ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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