Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
