She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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