Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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