"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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