Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
