It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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