She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
