Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
