im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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