Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
