We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
