im about as happy as oj after his trial
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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