Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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