you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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